For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you,” declares the LORD,
Jeremiah 29:11-14a

If anything in my life has been an exercise in spiritual growth, it has been our marriage.  Now, don’t get me wrong.  I am madly in love with Mr. Morton and wouldn’t trade one minute of our time together for anything.  I recognize completely that the LORD brought us together and that there is likely no one else on the planet who would put up with me and my ridiculous-ness. (I think I just made up a new word, but you get the idea.)

With that said, we have had some moments that reign in marital infamy.  We’ve said things we wish we hadn’t; done things we would like to take back; and breathed on each other first thing in the morning. (That’s so wrong.)  I have come to realize that my behavior toward my husband is often the same as my behavior toward God.  It usually goes like this:
1. We stop taking time for each other.
2.  Communication breaks down.
3.  Begin to feel neglected.
4.  Feeling neglected turns into suspicion.
5.  Suspicion turns into anger.
6.  Anger turns into resentment.
7.  Something happens and an argument ensues.
8.  Argument over X turns into argument over everything from A to Z.

It always works this ways.  Sometimes #8 lasts a few minutes, hours, or even days.  But, the root of the issue is also always the same.

And, isn’t this the same way I am with the LORD?
1.  I stop taking time for just me and the LORD
2.  Communication between us breaks down. (I can’t hear Him.)
3.  Begin to feel anxious.
4.  Anxiety turns to fear.
5.  Fear turns to stress.
6.  Stress turns to anger.
7.  Something happens that I can’t handle.
8.  I find myself at the feet of the LORD screaming, ‘Why?’

Here’s the irony (I mean lesson.)  In both my marriage and my journey with the Father, when I stop taking time and investing in the relationship, everything begins to break down.  How many times have I said to myself, ‘I feel distant from the LORD’ when in reality I am the one who walked away! I am reminded of Mary, who stopped what she was doing and sat at the feet of Jesus.  She could have been like her sister, Martha, who allowed the needs of the hour to consume her when Jesus, himself, was in her house.

James 4:8 says, ‘Come near to God and he will come near to you.’  That’s His promise.  And, He is faithful, so it’s safe to take Him at His word.

Thank you, LORD.

 (I thought, perhaps, I should start at the beginning, but then that scene in Goonies came flooding back to my memory.  All I could hear was Chunk saying, ‘In the third grade…’ So, I’ll make the intro quick.)

            I grew up in church–every Sunday of my life.  It’s what the Rankin family did—we worshiped together as a family.  Not to mislead you, I loved church.  I knew from an early age that Jesus had died on the cross for my sins and that God had sent Jesus because He loved me.  My devoted Sunday School teachers helped us memorize Scripture; they told the stories of Jesus and all those Old Testament dudes in a way that I understood; and those teachers cared for me and I knew it! 

            However, there was a time in my teenaged life that I rejected the teachings of my parents and the church.  Actually, in my heart and head I knew the ‘way that leads to life’ but my actions were definitely falling into the ‘wages of sin is death’ category.  I fooled myself into thinking that my family and my church family didn’t know what was going on in my life.  Somehow I managed to shove the Holy Spirit into a backroom for a while. But then…

            In the summer of 1995, I spent a week in San Marcos, Texas doing home repair-type work with my church youth group.  We had been going to Texas for years, so I felt fairly sure that I knew what to expect.  As usual, Thursday nights were reserved for an ‘all-camp’ worship gathering at a local church.  We sang songs, did some praying, and then heard a word from a guest pastor.  Still today, I have difficulty telling you exactly what happened.  That ‘usual’ day became very ‘unusual’ for me.  For whatever reason, my heart heard anew the Gospel of our Risen Savior, Jesus.  I felt like Saul/Paul during his conversion experience.  No one else seemed to hear or feel the beckoning of the Holy Spirit, but I sure did!  That night, all of those hours that my parents, Sunday School teachers, and whoever else had invested in my spiritual life were cashed in.  At that moment, every ‘Jesus Loves Me,’ every ‘John 3:16,’ every ‘Lord’s Prayer’ that was sung, recited, or prayed over me became my footing.  I had finally realized for myself that Jesus loved-wanted-accepted-forgave even ‘a wretch like me.’ 

            I may never know all the people who were used by the Lord to bring me into a saving relationship with Him, but I thank God often for them.  My only hope is that God would allow me to be a small piece of that same equation in others lives–not for my own glory, but to the Glory of the One who saved my soul.  ‘To Him that sits on the throne and unto the Lamb:  be all blessing and honor and glory and power forever!”

(Sidenote:  The little sheep up at the top is ‘Shaun the Sheep’ then I totally recommend googling it.  He’s my favorite!)